The Doula’s Journey: The Emperor

(To learn more about my motivations for this series, click here!

The EmperorWhilst acknowledging the strength of women and empowering them, we also need to recognise the important role that men play in our births, and their role in relation to me as a doula.

The Emperor represents masculine energy in the form of the Father. The Sun, typically a masculine symbol burns above a wise, rooted tree. Intrinsically needed to make a baby, this card recognises the importance of stability and rules, the power of the group.

For me on my journey, this is where I spent a lot of time looking into the practical demands of being a doula, often with solutions and information coming from my husband, Stephen. It was the point where I realised that this was not just MY journey, that I was not on this path alone. It was something I was doing with Stephen alongside me, as with everything in our lives together.

Talking through with Steve, with him asking questions, helping me examine my motivations, really helped me to evaluate what I could honestly and practically give to training right now. He grounded me at a point where I needed it, where I was excitedly making plans without creating a strong foundation to work from. The earth to my fire.

In doulaing, this masculine presence is also important is several areas. You are not just supporting the mother, you are often supporting the father as well. You are a team. And even further than that, the phrase ‘it takes a village to raise a child’. Surrounding ourselves with positive people during pregnancy is so integral to a positive experience, those who support our decisions, build us up, nourish our souls and hold our hands. (It’s one of the reasons that I think every pregnant woman needs a mother blessing ceremony.)

It was at this point that it began to dawn on me that whilst my personal journey absolutely was about me, that doulaing simply wasn’t. It is about responding to the needs of all present in the birthing space, not just the mother, although that is your priority. Quieting the frizzy energy of a midwife who felt rushed in traffic or has had a crazy long day and wants to be home with her own family. Redirecting nervous energy from a father into constructive support, or helping a partner transform their fierce protection from aggressive into assertive. Filling wringing hands with purposeful work. It is about others. Moving in tandem with the mother’s partners, as well as her midwives, and doctors, if she has chosen to have them present.

 

Birth is the fine balance of multiple energies, swirling together to raise the mother up to the sun, connecting with that primal fire inside her, while she burns, ablaze in love and light and grace as she births her baby.

flame

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